Home  ›  Uncategorized  ›  Men and Honesty

Men and Honesty

Men and Honesty

Relationships are tough work. No one should expect to smooth sail their way through a long-term relationship. Instead, you should expect that from time to time, there will be frustration, heartache, jealousy, name-calling and for some, maybe infidelity too.

If you are trying to work on a relationship that has gone wrong for any reason, it can be one of the hardest things you ever have to deal with.

If you have a partner who keeps lying to you, it can be overwhelming, not to mention frustrating.

No matter where you get advice on how to repair a broken relationship, honest conversation is considered to be one of the most important tools you have to work with.

When your partner keeps lying, you have another issue that you will have to deal with as well.

For some people, lying doesn’t really come as naturally as it appears. There may be some logic behind the betrayal, at least in your partner’s mind.

Lying is a way of getting control over you. A few of the reasons your partner might lie to you are:

He’s scared of your emotions

Most men would rather get punched in the guts than make a woman cry or make her angry.

To avoid the wrath of your emotions, men get in a habit of telling you what they think you want to hear, rather than the whole truth.

This is fine in most instances, but often, it proves to stifle a relationship when he doesn’t let you in on how he’s really feeling about important matters.

He’s hiding something really bad

Most of the time men lie over little things just to keep the peace and to keep your emotions in tact. However, sometimes he’s lying because of something more sinister, like cheating, hiding money, gambling, alcohol or other addictions and more.

Trust is such an important part of any relationship. However, if the ‘bad’ thing he has done has to do with addiction, then it pays to be more supportive than aggressive.

You can use it as an opportunity to grow together and for you to be seen as a woman who truly loves him and cares for his wellbeing, rather than someone who will leave him if he doesn’t do as he is told.

That leads me to the next reason why men lie…

He thinks you’re better off not knowing

Often the things that he has done wrong, in his mind, are not big issues, and if you don’t find out, they won’t hurt you.

He doesn’t necessarily realize the fact that if you DO find out, that you may never trust him again and that you may never reach the same level of trust and love in your relationship ever again.

Making the Decision Regarding What to Do

We all lie, but not all lies are told to hurt others. When you say you love the mosaic vase your aunt gave you for Christmas, it is a lie that is intended to make your aunt feel good about her choice.

Some lies are more significant than others, and if your partner lied to cover an infidelity, then you have to make the decision to keep moving forward and repair your relationship. It can be difficult because you may lose trust in your partner altogether.

Other lies may be told and accepted in order to prevent an argument. If you knew he would be upset that you went out with a certain friend, then you might lie and tell him you were with someone else. He might even realize the lie and let it slide for the same reasons you have.

One of the best approaches to stop your partner from lying is by changing your behavior so that lying isn’t necessary.

If you ease up on doing things he doesn’t like, he can agree to ease up on lying to change what you are doing.

Re-evaluate the relationship together, determine what is really important to each of you and agree to meet your partner halfway.

Eliminating the small irritants in your lives can help stop the lying and create a more enjoyable atmosphere for you both.

Until next time,